I recently have been terrible about updating my blog. I believe the last post was on January 7. Of course, much has happened since then but, at this moment, I don't feel like writing about it because there is something far more important I want to write about. Probably the biggest news I have to relay to you all is that I am coming home this Sunday, March 16. This means I have a mere two days more or less left in Vitoria, which to me is heartbreaking. I have in a sense established myself and the memories I now have will be irreplaceable, along with the friends I have made here. The lessons and experiences I gained opened my mind to a whole new world-- where being alone is okay; sometimes bad things happen and you must recover quickly; things never really go as planned; you have to deal with crappy people wherever you go; [some] men are pigs (my 11th grade history teacher was right about that); timing is everything; but most importantly I learned to make the most out of every single moment you have because time flies and the experiences that you make right now will only be fragmented memories of your future. So I sit here these last few days in Vitoria with my friends who I certainly will never forget and I'm holding on for dear life to these final memories we will make and cementing them in my mind, hoping that one day, I will be lucky enough to be with them again.
I fell in love with a culture.
I fell in love with a city.
I fell in love with my friends.
And I fell in love.
I've begun reflecting on the last 9 1/2 months, becoming increasingly more nostalgic and altogether more grateful for my experience in Vitoria. This is largely in part due to my small but stable group of friends I made here. I remember when I first got to Spain, I was extremely nervous, and basically regretting taking a gap year. I was jealous that my friends got to start university (yeah, I say university now, not college, because I'm basically an honorary European). At first I didn't really have any friends, and presumably so. Making friends is a process. I did make one friend who I will always remember despite our short amount of time we spent together, Catherine. And for that time we spent together, I didn't feel so alone. Let me just take a moment to say, Catherine (if you're reading this), thank you for making me go to Valencia, I will honestly NEVER EVER forget that trip--eating really cheap pizza every night, and buying 2 euro Sangria to get the night started. And of course, it lead me to someone else who I was incredibly grateful to meet (more on you later if you are also reading this. Don't think you're getting out of this scot free, Elliot!).
After my trip to Valencia, I made my way to Vitoria, again, not having a clue who I would meet, or what the rest of my journey would have in store. To put it simply, looking back at where I thought I was going to be in March at the beginning, compared to where I am now.... it is NOTHING like I expected. A couple weeks ago, I was crying to my friends Melanie, Nika and Steve because I did not get into UF. Yes, okay personal information I just posted for everyone to read. Anyway, Melanie squatted down next to me and told me "nothing ever works out the way you think it will, but everything happens for a reason. You could have been any other place in Spain, and you came to Vitoria. You could have been with someone else, but you met Steve. You could have made other friends, but you met us. Everything happens for a reason." You know, it's the cliche things that hold the most truth.
When looking for another family to go to after the one in Barcelona, I could have stayed in Barcelona, there were plenty of other families needing an au pair, but I chose Vitoria-Gasteiz. And those first few weeks here were brutal. I thought for sure I made a mistake. I thought that until I met Melanie. And then through her I met Sophie. We were the best trio if I ever did see one. They were there for me when I quit being an au pair, and helped me in any way they could (wine/kalimotxo was their primary solution).
I think when one is out of their element and culture bubble for an extended period of time, they are drawn to those in similar situations and they feed off of it to feel that acceptance like they did back home. But the difference about these friends (friends back home take no offense to this. I'm sure you are experiencing the same bonds, too.) is that I wasn't exactly forced to hang out with them. Back home, my group of friends and I had been friends since we were 11, some even longer. You're just kind of with these people growing up, and that's that. When I stepped outside of that bubble, I realized, I don't have to feel obligated to act a certain way to fit in with my friends or with how everyone else thinks I should act. It took me my whole life up until now to realize that. So to my friends I have met in my travels, thank you for accepting my presence in all my weird, loud laughing and sometimes stoic glory.
After being in Vitoria for about a month, I ventured off to Brussels, Belgium (told you'd I'd come back to you Elliot), some of you may recall this, probably because of my sheer excitement I had for this trip. My friends back home probably got bothered by me during that time, because it was literally the only thing I could talk about. There was no "playing it cool." I didn't necessarily address this when I wrote about being in Valencia, because I thought that would be creepy and over-the-top. But hey, I'm going back home in two days. It's about leaving it all out on the table at this point, right? So here we go...
[Clears throat] Most romantic, cheesy, unbelievable, outrageous experience to happen to me still to this day. When Catherine and I were out, there happened to be a certain someone who caught my eye, but it appeared he was leaving and I was sad, but life goes on. To my dismay, maybe 10 minutes later, this same guy interrupted the conversation I was having with someone. I can't remember it verbatim, but it was something to the effect of "Uh.. Excuse me, but I'm sorry, I have to steal her away from you." Obviously I was really flattered, and secretly clicking my heels and screaming in my head. But we hit it off. Like really hit it off. We ended up talking to each other from about two to six in the morning on a bench in Valencia. And as the sun was rising, we walked to the old city center, that if you scroll down the page a bit to the Valencia blog, there is a fountain in the middle of it. Well, if I recall correctly, as the sun was rising over the buildings, Elliot picked me up and swung me in circles and (brace yourselves) kissed me. From that point on we kept in touch, I went to visit him in Brussels, had a wonderful time and that was that. We still talk. But I'm convinced that Valencia will forever remain a strong memory. So Elliot, really, I'm so thankful to have had the chance to meet you. And maybe you're right, maybe our paths will cross again in the future.
Everything happens for a reason. Timing is everything.
Right before Sophie's departure back to Denmark, I was introduced to someone else who has deeply impacted me, and I can't even explain in words how lucky I am to have met him. Most of you have probably seen some pictures of me and Steve on Facebook, and really a lot of those pictures have summed up my time with him. Plain and simple: he is wonderful, and leaving him will be one of the hardest parts about leaving Vitoria. It's hard for me to even explain just exactly how I feel for this guy. He's one of a kind. And he has brought so much joy to me (and occasionally anger) since I have been with him. Sometimes, I would wish to myself that I wouldn't have met him because it in turn would make my departure so much easier. Then I realize, that would be robbing myself of one more experience that I will never, ever forget. I'm going to miss his kisses, his cooking skills, his arms around me, and his friendship much more than I could even convey in words.
By traveling to Spain, I quickly discovered that I was one of, if not THE youngest person out of all my friends. It's kind of an interesting feeling. Maybe it's because of the lower drinking age since it levels out the playing field of friends. Everyone is an equal. In the States, you are confined to people your own age in a sense. And really, it's stupid. I have learned so much from my friends through their own individual life stories and experiences. And this is where I learned another valuable lesson: Traveling for the sake of saying "Oh, of COURSE I've been there" or for sheer bragging rights is not traveling at all. Traveling is experiencing a culture. It's getting to know your surroundings in a foreign place. It's learning a language. It's eating different food. It's being able to acknowledge how these individual experiences have shaped you as a person. It's about making friends and learning through them as well as yourself.
One of my biggest fears about returning home, and don't receive this in a pretentious way, is the question "How was Spain?"There is really no way I will be able to sit down with any person, no matter how close of a friend you may be, and explain to you how Spain was. I can tell you this: It was incredible and there is not a single part of me that regrets leaving everything I know to come to a foreign place on my own. And with that, I will then tell you, go try it yourself. Get out of your comfort zone and create your own unexplainable memories. Educate yourself through the knowledge of others and through your travels. Everyone owes that to themselves. And as a young traveler, I can't help but stress the importance of traveling, and how it has lead me to an exploration of self, people and culture. With that, I would like to thank everyone who I have met through this journey and all of those who have helped me. You all know who you are.
As for me, maybe this particular chapter in my life is closing, but really, my life is just now starting and I couldn't be more excited to see where it leads me.
Everything happens for a reason.
Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did. So throw off the bowlines, sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover. -Mark Twain
